


Pick-Up Lines

by begonialily



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - No Killing Game (Dangan Ronpa), Bad Pick-Up Lines, Crack, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, M/M, just overall silly and adorable
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-26
Updated: 2019-01-26
Packaged: 2019-10-17 06:30:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17555141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/begonialily/pseuds/begonialily
Summary: “What are you-,”“Thank god I'm wearing gloves because you’re too hot to handle!,”





	Pick-Up Lines

 

Saihara Shuichi thought he would have an uneventful school day today and was currently walking through the school gates, thankful that he was almost inside the building already since the cold had started to get to him. Despite what Saihara had thought, The Ultimate Supreme Leader, Ouma Kokichi, had already planned how the detective’s day would go. Starting with this…

 

“E-Eh!? O-Ouma-kun?!,” Saihara stuttered out surprised when someone had unexpectedly wrapped their arms around his waist, and ofcourse only one person would get that intimate with him out of nowhere.

 

“Hey, Saihara-chan!,” Ouma said gleaming up at the detective, hands still wrapped around the other. He smirked, knowing the other was flustered without even seeing his face.

 

“What are you-,” 

 

“Thank god I'm wearing gloves because you’re too hot to handle!,” Ouma shouted, maybe a little too loud, and smirked mischievously when Saihara was able to escape his hold and turned around showing that his face had gone pink in embarrassment.

 

“O-Ouma-kun, what-,” Saihara tried to say but was interrupted by a chain of horrible pick up lines.

 

“I must be a snowflake, because I've fallen for you!,” 

 

“Are you cake? Cause I want a piece of that!,”

 

“Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cause I can see myself in your pants!,”

 

“Somebody call the cops, because it’s got to be illegal to look that good!,”

 

“Are you from Japan, cause I'm trying to get in Japants!,” Saihara got redder and redder with every horribly cheesy pickup line Ouma-kun threw at him until he was saved by his best friend who’s hair defied gravity like most of the students attending hope's peak.

 

“Hey, you little shit! What are you doing to my sidekick!?,” Momota yelled at the small leader who was having way too much fun with making Saihara’s face equivalent to the color of a tomato.

 

“Momota-chan! You came just in time!,” Ouma-kun said enthused but his expression quickly changed to one of distress. 

 

“Saihara-chan has a disease!,” Ouma claimed, crying crocodile tears. Momota, as gullible as he is when it comes to his friends, instantly went from protective to worried. 

 

“What!? What do you mean!?,” He asked while Saihara stood behind him mentally face palming.

 

“Kaito-kun, no, don’t let him-,” Saihara tried, knowing that there was a certain punchline to this but was interrupted by Ouma once again. “Yup, didn’t you hear of the new disease called beautiful? I think Saihara-chan is infected!,” Ouma-kun said with a playful wink to Saihara who was hiding his face behind his hands.

 

Momota was relieved but also pissed at Ouma for worrying him like that and began to chase the purple fuck. The last words Ouma said to Saihara before disappearing were,  _ “Be prepared for 1,000 more of those, Nishishi!” _

 

* * *

 

 

 

Saihara thought he was safe when class had started and Ouma was sat across the room. He was wrong.

 

In the middle of class, Saihara felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. Thankfully it had been silent, and since the teacher’s back was turned, Saihara found no harm in checking what it was.

 

He opened his phone from under the table and and saw that it was a message notification from and unknown number. A normal person would most likely ignore it but being as curious as he was, Saihara opened it and immediately regretted it.

 

_ 515-808-2362: What does it feel like to be the most beautiful boy in the room? _

 

It’s sad that he already knew who it was. Saihara looked to the far side of the room where Ouma sat holding his phone with a nightmare grin.

 

_ You: How did you get my number!? _

 

_ 515-808-2362: A Supreme Leader of evil never reveals his tricks! _

 

_ You: That's for magicians, Ouma-kun… _

 

_ 515-808-2362: Y-You’re comparing me to the failed mage!? How cruel Saihara-chan! _

 

_ 515-808-2362: But I think if anything you’re the magician here, Saihara-chan. _

 

_ You: ...What do you mean? _

 

_ 515-808-2362: Because when I look at you, everyone else in the room disappears~ ;) _

 

Saihara has to physically stop himself from groaning with his hand and hates how pink his face got in the matter of seconds from the surprise second pick up line.

 

Much to Ouma’s dismay, Saihara turned his phone off after that and tried to focus on the rest of the lesson.

 

* * *

 

 

Lunch time had finally come around, and Ouma left the classroom immediately, which was strange since he always talked to Saihara before going to the lunch room to meet with his usual group, but Saihara shrugged it off. He took out his bento and Momota and Harukawa moved back to his desk to eat with him.

 

It was normal. Too normal it was suspicious. Saihara hoped it was just him being paranoid but as Momota started talking about something space related, his words faded as he looked out the window and so did Harukawa with an exhausted glare.

 

“Guys, is something wrong-,” Saihara asked worried but was cut off. It seemed that him finishing a sentence was not possible today. “I think that's for you,” Harukawa sighed pointing at the window right next to them.

 

Saihara looked out the window and saw a sight more unimaginable than he ever could imagine taking place.

 

Outside the window of the classroom, bright red rose petals were scattered across the grass, organized to form words.

 

_ “If I had a garden I’d put your tulips and my tulips together” _

 

And next to them were Ouma, Iruma, and poor Kiibo that was probably roped into the situation unwillingly. Ouma was also in possession of a megaphone. Oh no…

 

The prankster started shouting cheesy pickup lines in no particular order at the top of his lungs into mega phone while Iruma cackled and Kiibo seemingly covered his face in shame of being apart of such a immature shenanigan. 

 

Saihara sank in his seat and groaned loudly, hands covering his face that couldn’t get any redder. The boy across from him let out a small chuckle which caused Saihara to glare at him through a gap between his fingers.

 

“S-Sorry, sidekick! I-It’s just a little funny, don’t you think?,” Momota said nervously. Saihara didn’t reply and, finally, the trio floors below them were chased off by the security.

 

* * *

 

 

After a few more hours, they were dismissed from class and allowed to return home. Saihara was beyond exhausted from Ouma’s shenanigans and was relieved to go home already, even if the walk and train ride was a bit cold. 

 

Saihara walked into his apartment and said a quick hello to his uncle in the living room before walking into his room whose door was already opened ajar, not that he would notice such a miniscule detail at a time like this.

 

Just as he had walked past the door shut behind him which cause him to yelp and turn around reflexively. Saihara was then pulled into an embrace similar to this morning, except Ouma’s head was against Saihara’s chest. 

 

“Are you a banana? Because I find you a peeling!,” Ouma said smiling innocently looking up at his boyfriend with a spark in his eyes.

 

Saihara sighed, restraining a smile as he ruffled Ouma’s hair. “How did you get here before me?,” Saihara asked as his boyfriend let go of him.

 

“The school suspended me for the day and I got detention. I decided to come here and wait for you!,” Ouma told the young detective. 

“And what was with all those pick up lines earlier?,” Saihara flushed recalling some of the phrases Ouma said. “They were to flattered my beloved of course, didn’t you like them? I worked really hard on the you know!,” Ouma lied, they both knew that he got them from google or something. 

 

“Sure… “My lips are like skittles. Wanna taste the rainbow?” was really _ creative _ ,” Saihara said sarcastically. Ouma gasped and said, “Sarcasm is just hostility hidden behind humor, my beloved!”, crying over dramatically which somehow led to them cuddling on Saihara's bed.

 

“Also,” Saihara said hesitantly, blushing furiously, “Why pick up lines? I-It’s not like you dropped anything”.

 

There was a pregnant pause in the room. “Did my beloved just-,” Ouma started with a teasing smirk. “N-no, shut your heck,” Saihara said with his face burning, hands torn between hugging the shorter male or covering his face.

 

“Nishshi~, Whatever you say my beloved Saihara-chan~,” Ouma purred and turned to kiss his boyfriend on the cheek. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


 

 

 

 

Beep boop, Saihara.exe has stopped working-

  
  
  
  
  



End file.
